Right. So picture this. You’re blasting down the M5 in your trusty diesel workhorse, towing a caravan the size of Luxembourg, feeling like the undisputed king of the open road. You’ve got cruise control on, the dog’s in the back, and your significant other is fiddling with the sat-nav like it’s a Rubik’s Cube made by Satan himself.
And then it happens. Flashing lights. Sirens. You’re pulled over by a man in a fluorescent jacket who looks like he hasn’t smiled since Thatcher left office. Why? Because you were doing 70mph with a towbar attached. And here’s the thing — you’re not allowed to do that.
Yes, dear reader, there’s a rule — a lesser-known but rather crucial bit of motoring law — that says if you’re towing anything, be it a caravan, trailer, or a wheeled port-a-loo, you’re legally limited to 60mph on motorways and dual carriageways. That’s not a suggestion. That’s a law. And breaking it can end your road trip faster than an overheating radiator in Cornwall.
Now, this applies not just to your average SUV towing a mobile bungalow, but also to motorbikes with trailers (you mad lot), car-derived vans, and those dual-purpose vehicles, which I think is a fancy government way of saying “cars that can’t decide if they’re for builders or school runs.”
And before you start yelling “BUT I HAVE A BMW X5 WITH LASER HEADLIGHTS AND A TORQUE FIGURE TO RIVAL A TANK,” none of that matters. The law is the law. 60mph. That’s it. You could have more gadgets than the International Space Station and a braking system so clever it makes tea – still 60mph.
Important Towing Wisdom (because physics doesn’t care if you drive a Land Rover)
Let’s talk practicality, shall we? Towing isn’t just about clamping something on the back and flooring it. No. You need to understand a few basic truths of trailer towing:
- Your stopping distance triples. So if you tailgate someone while towing, you’re not just a fool — you’re a potentially catastrophic fool.
- Overloading your trailer is illegal, dangerous, and stupid. There are people out there trying to tow a family hot tub to Devon. Don’t be that person.
- Swaying and snaking aren’t types of exotic dancing. They’re what happens when you forget things like weight distribution or try overtaking in a headwind with a boxy caravan behind you.
- Mirrors. Fit them. Proper ones. You need to see what’s behind you — and no, your car’s built-in reversing camera doesn’t count when the trailer is the size of a bungalow.
- Tyres. Caravan tyres perish faster than supermarket strawberries. Check them, pump them, or prepare for a blowout at 58mph in the middle lane while a Tesco lorry bears down on you.
And Now, Back to the Bureaucracy
The DVSA — or as I like to call them, the Fun Police — has reminded us that speed limits are absolute maximums, not invitations to hoon around like you’re in The Italian Job. This applies even more when towing, because you’re essentially turning your car into a rigid train with no rails.
They’ve also introduced a new way to pay fines using Apple Pay and Google Pay. Very modern. Very slick. But frankly, if you’re already getting fined, you’ve probably done something else wrong, like towing with no MOT, or using a driving licence printed off the internet.
Oh, and if your car’s not insured or taxed, or you’ve been messing with the emissions system to make your van belch less black smoke, don’t be surprised if the DVSA fines you, bans you, or quite possibly launches you into orbit.
Final Word
If you’re going to tow something — know your speed limits, check your load, and for heaven’s sake, stay in the left lane unless overtaking. You’re not Lewis Hamilton. You’re just a person dragging a small fibreglass bungalow through Derbyshire.
And if you can’t be bothered to learn the rules? Then don’t buy a tow bar!